Putting Away the Costumes
A poem by Annabelle Drumm
You are scared?
I am scared too.
We are alike, you and I.
We have played many characters
In this life and the others
We are expert at changing our personality in a moment’s notice.
We know the full hue of emotions and traits
Like the true show business people we are.
We can look at the other person in front of us
Be it the lady down the road, a client, a boss, a celebrity, a child
And we ask ourselves “who would this Other most relate to?”
Then we draw out of our costume box all the traits we think will match.
This often works well.
We are accepted. We are likeable.
But it can work against us
Because when we spend a lot of time with that Other
The zip gets caught on the costume and we can’t get it off.
Then all the other traits that we are
Become hidden,
Suppressed
This character becomes a limitation.
People can get stuck not showing who they are for years,
For lifetimes.
That Other might be a relative, a friend, a spouse.
We are scared to show them who we are underneath
So we stifle it.
But, I don’t want to do that this time.
I got stuck in the costume last time and I was so unhappy.
So unhappy for many years.
This time I don’t want to delve into the costume box
And choose the perfect character to match what I guess you want.
I just want to be the many hues of “me”.
What’s scary about that is
That there is a chance you will reject “me”.
When I wear a costume and you reject me
It’s like failing an audition.
I can wave it away
“No big deal. I took a punt on what they wanted
And they didn’t like it. NEXT!”
An Actor can brush off an epic fail Audition
Just as easily as a Director can.
But can I brush it off just as easily when I am naked?
When I have no costume?
If I show you who I truly am
And I so wanted you to like me
Could I bear the rejection
When I know I could easily have fooled you
Had I worn a costume?
This is the big question.
The time must come
When authenticity is the priority
When judgements are put aside
For what are these personality traits anyway?
We are a soul having a human experience
That means we may not be any personality trait at all
We are not even our gender
We identify ourselves with traits and costumes that we prefer
And we desperately try to avoid the traits within ourselves we do not prefer.
This can feel as mis-aligned as a transsexual feels in their natural born body.
Yet, as a soul, when we start from scratch
We can see that the human experience is the chance to do just that.
To experience the full hue of emotions,
Of character traits, of costumes.
As broad and varied and magnificent as a rainbow.
So I would like to start this relationship
With the costume box closed
And the full palette of colour available for me
To draw upon at any moment.
Yes, this will make me less predictable.
Sometimes I will be something you enjoy.
Sometimes not.
But if I allow myself to be polite, generous and civil
As easily as grumpy, greedy and selfish.
Then I am authentic. I am “me”.
And I expect, that the more freedom I have to be myself
Without judgement
The more loveable I will become
Not just to you and any Other
But I will love and know myself.
~
Are you looking to find your Authentic self?
Do you want to be one who lives without guilt and fills their days with work and play that perfectly match who they are? Annabelle Drumm works as a Business and Life Coach working not just on strategy and career direction but also on the personal traits. Her coaching can help you rediscover the genuine version of yourself so life is a lot less effort. All private and work relationships improve and you can finish each day in contentment and satisfaction.
Learn more about the coaching services of Annabelle Drumm
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