Reaching for higher goals can become a regular way of living and working. But, what is it that holds us back no matter how hard we try? It’s possible we’ve accepted the status quo as our standard.
After writing my article on The Wolf Of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort came up in several conversations and someone pointed me to this YouTube interview with him (below). After seeing the movie, it was interesting to watch the real man and how he works. In my eyes there is undoubtedly genius there but, also the constant temptation from which I’m not sure he can yet completely trust himself.
The interview has some great takeaways including these 5 points from his book.
- Have a clear and compelling vision you are striving for. The goals are merely steps to get you closer to your vision.
- State management – Be aware and constantly tweaking your emotions so they are positive and forward driven as often as possible.
- Manage limiting beliefs – They reduce your ability to draw in what you need to break through to higher ground.
- Strategy – You’ve got to have a plan in place. Even if it’s wrong, start moving and refine your direction once you’re on the road.
- Standards
Number 5 is the one I want to look at today.
What Standard is Acceptable?
Many times Coaching clients come to me with complaints on what is happening in their life/business or what has been going on for some time. They speak as though it is the story of their life. Yet, when I look at the story with them from a non-judgemental point of view, we often discover they have “accepted” it as their story.
This story may not be pleasant or “right” but it is acceptable to them.
It’s often easier to stay a victim of this story, shrug your shoulders and say “That’s it, man. ‘Nothing I can do.” and pass all the blame onto the story and the people involved as being the excuse for not changing.
What do some of these stories look like?
“My spouse and I fight all the time and are constantly at odds with each other. I can’t stand them.”
“I’ve dated so many men and they all treat me like shit.”
“I’ve tried every diet, exercise all the time and just can’t seem to get the weight off.”
“My boss is constantly micro-managing. It drives me crazy.”
“No matter what I earn, I always seem to have enough expenses to never have any savings.”
“I only ever earn enough to pay the bills. Life is tough.”
These are all excuses you’ve heard a million times. What are your excuses to keep the status quo?
No matter what those stories are, they are standards you have chosen are acceptable. From that moment forward, Law of Attraction ignores the words you plead for in your prayers, on your vision boards and when you set your goals. It simply attracts in more evidence to keep that story alive.
Only by raising your standards to a new level of what is acceptable and what is not, will you be able to make a shift in your life and career.
Case Study
Let’s take that micro-managing boss, for example.
“My boss is constantly micro-managing. It drives me crazy.”
This has become acceptable even though it is uncomfortable.
Step One
Let’s take a look at the consequences of accepting that standard.
- How effective are you in your work?
- How much autonomy do you have to show initiative that might get you a pay rise?
- How high are your daily stress levels?
- How does that stress affect your health? your sense of calm? your clarity? your ability to sleep? your relationships in the workplace? your personal relationships? the amount of mistakes you make? the accidents you have? the attention to detail you give?
- How does it affect your productivity?
- Is it building tension that eventually might explode and get you into trouble?
- Is it ruining your reputation at work which will give you a feeble testimonial when you’re ready to move on to another job?
I could go on but you get the picture.
Once you’ve seen not only the immediate effect but also the on-flowing consequences of allowing that standard to be acceptable you will be in a clearer position to decide if it is still acceptable or a standard you want to raise.
Only then will you have the drive and the courage to stand up and state your new higher standard.
Going about it diplomatically is wise, of course. Jumping up and down causing a stench will have consequences.
Step Two
When I’m coaching I may often get the client to look at the situation from the manager’s eyes to find their motivation. They might discover the manager is highly anxious about doing a good job themselves. Once you see them through the eyes of compassion the dynamic between you is instantly altered.
Step Three
You’d be surprised how many work relationships that started out tense can be almost immediately cured by simply pointing out the good things that manager is doing well in a genuine way. By calming them, building their trust and giving them confidence that you are both actually on the same team, they can completely change their tune and become one of your greatest advocates.
Maintenance
Feel free to address your standards in your life and career on a regular basis, twice a year at least, so you can always be on top of what needs to be raised before you blow your top.
Here’s Belfort’s book mentioned in the interview:
Video interview on theroomlive.com About an hour duration.
Are you ready to raise your standards?
Contact Kitegirl when you decide the status quo is no longer acceptable and you’re ready to make major change in your life and career.