For a couple of days I’d put off the suggestion from Mercredan to draw my suicide friend out of the Grey Zone. I didn’t know how “uncomfortable” it was going to be. I didn’t know how long I would need to set aside to do it or, quite frankly, if I had the balls to face someone in such a strained state of mind. Then, last night my usual trail of every day type thoughts soon faded to the inner talk and criticisms of Sophia entering my mind again. I knew it was time to tackle it. It was 9.30pm and the time felt right. So I settled down to meditate, committed to staying in the zone as long as it felt OK to be there.

I pictured approaching her. She was rolled into foetal position in the “grey zone” hair covered her face – the zone had no ground, no walls, no features, just like heavy smelly dark grey fog. I stood there imagining myself holding a lantern and glowing myself with love for her. Just standing, offering gentle words. I felt pretty confident at this stage, quite strong. Yep, I can do this.

She had all the excuses why she deserved to be where she was. I offered different strategies to convince her which she rejected, would soften, I would get a glimmer of hope from her like a child seeing maybe she could be valuable as I said she was but, then she would sink again. She took my hand at one point but then pulled back, lay down and said this was all she deserved.

I kept the discipline of not making up anything, not adding details from my brain, not deliberately bending the story to fit my imagination. Simply to be a warm glow worm, waiting for the next move.

Then she started to get angry and tried to do things to me. First they were childish, then they were violent. I told her there wasn’t much point being violent as I wasn’t here in my body just like she wasn’t.

It didn’t stop her. She started doing worse things. I can’t remember all of them, only that at one point she cut my hand off half way up the forearm. I played along and had blood pour out like the “Bad Taste” show, then staggered about like a really bad actor until she laughed. She was an actress so laughing at bad acting felt appropriate. The fooling around lightened her up a bit and I invited her to leave this grey zone again.

In the end she took my hand. We started walking. I asked if she would like to sing a song. She wanted “Follow the yellow brick road” so we started doing the skipping dance from the movie and singing the words. We were having fun.

I don’t know where we went. No blue skies or angels or anything. It just stopped. It felt complete. Done within about 20-40 minutes. Could it be that easy? I wondered if I was just making it easy for myself. I listened to see if there was any more inner talk and couldn’t hear it.

This morning I feel it is complete. It doesn’t feel like there is anything more to do there.  Was it real? Did it happen? Am I happily telling myself I’ve done this and actually left her in the dark? It doesn’t feel that way. Each time I try to tune in to her the message comes back “She is gone. She is gone.”

Being easy maybe showing me this is a natural gift. The main goal right now is to find my most natural gifts and align my career with them. Could this be a gift of mine? Could it really be used for such a noble purpose?

I will check in with Mercredan again next week and see if I made an impact.

Read his answer here in the next session near the end.

Did you enjoy this article? The Kitegirl Coach blog is dedicated to collecting and considering information on the planetary and human evolution, Law of Attraction, the world shift in consciousness and creative careers. SHARE with like minded friends, FOLLOW on WordPress (button in the right column) for a regular feed or SUBSCRIBE for a monthly update on articles.